my sweet sarah … my sarah bear. there are definately 2 sides to sarah. look at these twophotos. in the first she looks so quiet and thoughtful.
then there is the other side of sarah … as seen in this second photo. the crazy, high-strung, hyper girl that doesn’t think before she does things.
i think there is room for both of these sarahs … she just needs to figure out when to be the crazy one and when to be the thoughtful one.
i fight with this girl more than i care to admit. i don’t know if it’s that we’re so much alike. i think we just know how to get on each others nerves … we rub each other the wrong way. but we fight on a daily basis … about anything and everything. and usually at the wrong moments … when it’s just not the time for fighting. when it’s time to go to school … when parents are here picking up other kids … in the middle of a shower … when it’s bedtime.
i think a lot of it is that she’s always gotta question everything i say. i can’t ever tell her something and have her just say "ok mom". there’s always a comment or an excuse. like tonight the girls were kicking the soccer ball around for a few mintues in the front yard and the ball went in the street … we live on a very busy street with lots of fast cars speeding by (right next to a school mind you … but that’s a whole other story. lol!). sarah runs out into the street without even looking twice … mainly because she’s so hyper and wound up at this point. we yell at her to get out of the street. but then she’s got a reason she ran out there … "it was just really quick" … "there weren’t any cars" … "i know, i know" … "i was just getting the ball" … and on and on. could she just say "sorry mom" and move on. no. and then the ball goes out again … and she does it again. so i gave her a stern order to never ever go into the street like that again. she takes off upstairs and slams her door. she was pouting to joe and saying that i was mean to her. what the heck?!?!
why does she question everything? why does she get upset everytime she doesn’t like my answer … and fuss and argue until she thinks i’m going to give in? why must she talk back to every little thing i say … even when i’m just commenting on something or asking something? why do we have to turn everything into a fight? we did it again at bedtime. all because she wouldn’t say "good night" to me after i said it and told you her i loved her. she ignored me and wouldn’t respond. then started complaining about everything just to delay bedtime. then when i told her it wasn’t the time for this … i went to leave the room and apparently she then said "good night" … which i didn’t respond to because honestly i didn’t hear it. this turned into a major yelling fest. i won’t lie … it wasn’t pretty. all she had to do was say "good night" and let it go. i guess that would have been too easy. and it would have meant that alyssa could have slept better! lol!
sometimes i don’t know what to do with sarah. how to get through things with her. she frustrates me to no end. and yet i know all she wants to do is please me. she really wants to be like me … in the things i do. she just gets so wound up that she doesn’t stop to think. and she knows it. she told me tonight after a lot of yelling … "i just don’t think in my head sometimes". i’m constantly telling her to relax … tone it down … take it down a notch … calm down. when she’s wound up she seriously can’t even stop her mind long enough to pay attention to what i’m saying most of the time.
i don’t know if i even made my point in all of that. i’m still really upset from our bedtime arguement. sad thing was joe was downstairs the whole time watching the baseball game … and had no idea anything was going on. lol! come on dude … our house is really not that big. you can hear everything in our house … especially screaming kids. lol! i don’t know … just wanted to get some of my thoughts down. vent a little.
i love my sarah bear. even when she’s the crazy one. because really … look at that smile on her face. she may be crazy sometimes … but she’s having fun and being happy (even if it gets her in trouble in the end). i do have something else i’ve been wanting to share about sarah … so maybe i’ll do that tomorrow. and some stuff about alyssa too … love that kid too! love both my girls … more than they’ll ever know!


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