Laura Vegas

so, it’s christmas eve. i remember posting last christmas eve … and it’s pretty much the same this year. feels like just another day. kind of drab … kind of sad. except last year alyssa was at her dad’s celebrating … and this year both the girls are there. joe’s sleeping just like last year … because he worked last night, just like last year. i’m doing laundry and some cleaning up … just like last year. still have some "lifetime" christmas movies recorded … just like last year. lol!

just not the same here without the girls. but i know they’re having a great day. sarah went with alyssa … i know she has lots of presents under their tree, so she’s going to be loving it! i will miss them tonight though. noone here to hang up the stockings … put out milk and cookies for santa … and just enjoy the excitement that is "christmas eve". and then christmas morning … no one to wake me up wanting to rush to open gifts and see what came in their stockings. i’m sure they’ll be back around 10am or so … but not the same.

thanks for all your good-luck wishes for my dinner on saturday. it all went good. i was crazy in the kitchen for hours on end. don’t get me wrong … people did offer to help. but i didn’t want anyone helping with anything … mainly because i just had sooooooo much going on at once. i was in my "cooking zone" and didn’t want anyone breaking my concentration or i’d lose track of what i was doing. lol! everything turned out … and tasted pretty good. the turkey breasts worked great … although i cooked up 5 of them (forgot joe’s brother was bringing ham) and we only needed 3 … so lots of leftovers.

i did something good today. and i’m not sharing this because i want a pat on the back … or because i want you to think i’m this giving person, or because i want recognition. i’m just feeling good because for once i thought about doing something for someone … and i actually did it. i’m the kind of person that thinks of doing things for people all the time … but then i forget or get busy or sidetracked … and never do anything in the end. like when i go through the drive-thru at starbucks and think "wouldn’t it be nice to pay for the person behind me" … but then i chicken out, or worry that it will be the car that had like 5 drinks ordered. lol! and i’m very self-concious … so i always think about doing things … and then worry about what people will think or say about me (even though i’m thinking of doing good things … just never know). 

so this morning i ran out for a few very last minute things … and i passed a few homeless people up by the grocery store. i always feel bad just driving by … feeling like i should offer them some help … but not sure what they could really use. as i drove by today … i thought about all the extra food i have in my fridge. tons of leftovers from our dinner … a lot of which we probably won’t eat. as i was driving from place to place … i kept thinking i should put some together and pass them out. when i got home … i didn’t even take time to think about it. i didn’t say a word (as some of you know, i talk to myself all the time about everything!). i just took everything out of my fridge and started heating things up. i made up 2 big containers with the works … turkey, potatoes, stuffing, green beans. added some little things of cranberry sauce and dips … with baggies of crackers, olives, nuts, and cookies. added a bottle of sparkling cider and forks and napkins. without giving myself time to think … i packed up 2 big bags and got in the car. pulled right up in the parking lot at the grocery store and found 2 people that looked like they needed a good meal. they looked so appreciative and thankful. 

and it felt so good. i feel proud of myself … for finally following through and doing something for someone that needed it. even though today feels lonely and drab … i have so much to be grateful for. even though i don’t have my whole family with me today … i have a family. i have people to spend tomorrow with. i’m glad i had the chance today to take a few moments and remind myself all that i have to appreciate. 

hope you all have a very merry christmas! enjoy your families and your time with them!